Debrief: As if...
I hope that you have had a chance to try "As if". If you haven't...seriously - the next time you have a group of ANY age and of ANY size - try it. Your group will be laughing and interacting within seconds.
Always have a couple of really fun interactions before you do the more difficult ones that take a little more thought or place the participants in conflict. That's when it gets interesting. Before I get into that too much I'll give you some easy Q & A debrief material:
Debriefing topics: What did you notice? Who was uncomfortable with some of the early "as if's"? What about the later introductions?
- How were your interactions different with each scenario?
- What did you notice about non-verbal body language with the different roles?
- How did your attitude change during the exercise?
- Who was uncomfortable with some of the early 'as ifs'? What about the later introductions?
- Would
you agree that everyone we 'greeted' today is human? Is it
safe to say that all humans deserve the same respect in terms of
being polite to one another?
One of the most impactful interactions that I have had participants do is this:
1. Greet each other as if you are co-workers who, on Friday, had a fight over a stapler. It was a little thing but it got blown up into a huge deal. It's now Monday and you've unexpectedly met at the water cooler.
It's very, VERY interesting to see your participants interact at this point. Some of your pairings will instantly start to heal the damage. They'll apologize and talk about how ridiculous the fight was over a stapler. SOME pairings will continue the fight from essentially where they left off on Friday. And then there's the pairs that begin with the intention of apologizing and recovering the relationship and then end in a worse position.
Who are the peace-makers? Who are the people likely to take things personally? Escalate a disagreement? Who are aggressors or the passive personalities in your group?
This is what I always do after the participants go through the conflict scenario - I always give them the scenario again except THIS time they must resolve the conflict. Here's the explanation:
2. Greet each other as if you are co-workers who, on
Friday, had a fight over a stapler. It was a little thing but it got
blown up into a huge deal. It's now Monday and you've unexpectedly met
at the water cooler. You both look at each other wanting to resolve the conflict.
What you've done here is so important - BEYOND important. You're teaching participants HOW to resolve conflict. If they find that hard - if they are at a loss to start the conversation - you have a moment then to teach them. These are skills that we more than often assume that people naturally possess or that they obtain them from some atmospheric reaction. Teach people how to resolve conflict and they might actually choose that road next time.
Try it! And then come back and tell me about some of the As If scentarios that you've come up with!
If you're looking for resources...check Michelle Cumming's Training Wheels for super conflict resolution tools and activities!
Comments